Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Getting (a bit) Personal

I started this blog for fun. Friends were always asking me for recipes, restaurant recommendations and whether or not I've tried the latest beauty products. So I figured I'd start this fun little page and post all my latest faves and obsessions and see what people had to say. To be honest I'm completely overwhelmed at the support I've received. I assumed I'd have a few friends follow this little blog, and was completely surprised that people started reading and following. The CLE blogging community is so supportive and kind.

That being said, I feel as if I owe you an explanation and apologize for my recent lack of posts.

{via}


I have migraines.

Migraines that make me bitchy, evil and quite unkind. Migraines that make me not such a good wife, friend or co-worker. They make me want to give a big F-you to every Excedrin Migraine commercial I see. And want to smack every person who says they have one and doesn't. Why would anyone want these evil, horrible things? Believe me, I'd rather sit through dinner with you, your fourth wife and your three snotty kids than use the "I have a migraine" excuse to get out of it.

I grew up in a family where we all had chronic headaches. This was the norm for me. As a teenager I had migraines which got better as I got older. Everybody I knew had severe headaches. It never occurred to me that this was not normal. Fast forward 20 years. Last fall I began having severe migraines again and this time they landed me in the hospital. My husband (who has had -maybe- 2 headaches in his whole life) couldn't understand how I managed to live having a headache every day of my life. Now that they had become completely debilitating he forced me to the doctor.

Years ago I had gone through this process. Test after test after test couldn't come up with a solution. I was on a myriad of medications that made me feel just a bad as the headaches did. So all these years later I was skeptical to go through this process again, but I really didn't have a choice.

Long story short, I was referred to Dr. Bamford at the Cleveland Clinic Neurological Center for Pain. Wow, they've come a long way in the past 20 years! We are really so lucky in the CLE to have access to one of the best healthcare systems in the world. I see flights come in every day from all over the world bringing dignitaries from foreign countries to the CCF. And it's right here in our backyard.

But there isn't a miracle cure* and it's a long process. I'm getting better. So please understand, if you're not seeing my superficially crazy posts that I'm still here. --Most likely just piled under a bunch of blankets, in a dark room, a pillow over my head and copies of the latest issues of Harper's Bazaar and Elle piled about. Screaming at my husband how I'm dying, that "God hates me!" and why is this happening to me? Because all it really boils down to is if I can't read said magazines than I really will lose my mind. (ok, not really-but you get the point).

*there isn't a miracle cure. Really. I know what your Aunt told you. I know that your sister, brother, mother, cousin-twice-removed had them and stopped eating chocolate-sugar-caffeine-fruit-wine-tater tots, stopped inhaling oxygen, inhaled more oxygen, cut out msg, cut out pets, kids, husbands and magically their headaches went away.  I've heard it all. Everyone wants to dole out advice. It doesn't matter that I'm seeing the best specialist this side of the Mississippi. So, bring it on.

A snarky pilot I work with recently told me "Why don't you just take an Excedrin Migraine?" Hmmm. Thanks. Why didn't I think of that?

6 comments:

  1. I hope you are able to heal from this. I had no idea you suffered so badly from migraines. I have never been a sufferer of bad headaches until I got older, and I know how badly I have felt from the occasional headache, and I can't imagine dealing with this everyday. I am thinking of you and praying for you! You're one of the nicest, best people I know!

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  2. I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with such pain. I can't imGine what it must be like but my heart goes out to you.

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  3. Loved the blog! I could have written it. As a fellow migraine sufferer, I feel like I have spent years in a quiet, dark room. I am so glad that Dr. Bamford is helping you. Love you!

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  4. I'm so sorry to hear this! I've definitely missed your blogging, but we all have stuff in our lives other than blogging (shocking, I know!). I hoped you were up to fun adventures and just too busy to blog. My mom deals with migraines and I see how tough they are on her. You're in my thoughts...feel better soon!

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  5. That sounds awful. My Aunt has been having a lot of the same issues. It's like her body goes numb. I'm not sure which doctor she sees in Cleveland but he is helping her migraines some.

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear this! I was wondering where you have been, but I know what its like to have to disappear from the internet for a bit. I suffer from migraines as well, and am also having some other stressful health issues, so I have been quiet on my home front as well. These issues seem to suffocate my writing and creativity :(

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